Full Metal Yakuza
Horror Comedy, 1997
103 minutes, DVD
www.artsmagicdvd.com

Hagane is a hapless apprentice yakuza who idolizes Tosa, an old veteran of the scene. A rival gang assassinates Tosa, and Hagane is caught in the crossfire. Hagane is brought back to life by a crazy scientist, who has grafted Hagane’s head on to a body that’s mostly a robot but includes Tosa’s tattoo – and penis. Now Hagane has everything he needs to avenge his idol.

Full Metal Yakuza is a direct-to-video horror/comedy from prolific Takashi Miike. As such, you can expect lots of sick humor, but don’t expect much action, due to the budgetary constraints. Hagane spends a good portion of the movie living on a deserted beach because that’s cheaper to show than actual fights. If you have a strong stomach and a certain taste for non-sequitur comedy, you’ll probably enjoy Full Metal Yakuza. – Scott Hamilton

Uncle Davver’s Really Scary Movie Show
Comedy, 2003
67 minutes, DVD
www.wallyontheweb.com

Uncle Davver’s Really Scary Movie Show: Imagine a live version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 with a theater full of moviegoers, hosted by a horror host from late night and his companion ghouls, and you’ll have the Scary Movie Show, taped in all its glory. The show started as a series of private movie parties for executive producer Wally Wingert and friends; this DVD is their first attempt to take it to the masses. The movie being shown is the Lee/Cushing flick, Horror Express, edited down and punctuated by a series of sketches, the whole thing coming in at a lean hour and seven minutes. Many of the jokes are awful, with puns that would make the Cryptkeeper boo, and most of the costumes (with the exception of Uncle Davver, who looks pretty darn good) are tacky, but there’s a ton of goofy enthusiasm in the room, and it’s hard not to enjoy yourself at least a little bit. David Naughton, of American Werewolf in London fame is a special guest star who’s presence seems mostly superfluous – but he appears to be having a fun time, so more power to him. –Zack Handlen

Before Last Night
Drama, 2004
93 minutes, DVD & VHS
www.beforelastnight.com

Eli (Tyson Hooser) needs money, and he needs it fast; the hospital wants to throw his mother out, and he just quit his latest job. His well-heeled friend Shawn (Elsa Bigelow) convinces him to go to work for the local crime boss (Jimmie Jennings). What follows is a not really elaborate, overly padded adventure in crime and stupidity, as Eli gets screwed over a couple of the Boss’s disgruntled henchmen, and spends a lot of time trying to find his backpack and even more time borrowing other people’s cars. Not a terrible movie, Before Last Night has okay acting and decent production values; its biggest crime is trying to stretch a forty minute premise to an hour and a half long movie. If your expectations are low enough, to dual twists at the end come as a moderate surprise. Too bad the journey to get to them was so fraught with pit stops on the way. –Zack Handlen

Nite Owl
Horror, 2004
77 minutes, DVD
www.b-movie.com

Don’t let the case fool you; John Leguizamo may be in this movie, but he is not the star. That would be James Raftery, who plays Jake, a moody vampire (is there any other kind?) who lives in a rundown abandoned building in New York, praying on the city’s nightlife. Filmed in black and white, it’s low-key, mopey, and grim, an awkward mix of Martin Scorcese and Anne Rice. There’s nothing overtly wrong with movie, at least not in comparison to Sub Rosa’s usual fare, and the b & w cinematography does a good job of hiding the more obvious video flaws, getting within shouting distance of a cinema verite look. Unfortunately, there’s no story here that really cries out to be told, or which hasn’t been told a dozen times over before, with bigger budgets, better actors, and a more compelling script. Leguizamo is fine as the brother of one of the victims, but you can’t help but feel that his presence here was a favor to a friend, as there is no other reason for it. –Zack Handlen

Making Fiends: Season One
Animated Comedy, 2004
40 minutes (approximately)
www.makingfiends.com

Filmmaking doesn’t get much more independent than this: ten home-produced and Flash-animated three-minute episodes of a series about two young girls with the most opposite of natures. Making Fiends was created by South Park animator Amy Winfrey, whose previous efforts (like Big Bunny and my own favorite, Muffin Films) attracted a few fans, but nothing quite like Making Fiends.By all outward appearances, Fiends is doing quite well – the online gift shop features t-shirts and art prints as well as this DVD, a collection of the first ten episodes and a large amount of bonus material.

The series revolves around sweet-natured Charlotte and her friend/enemy Vendetta, an acid-faced little girl who terrorizes the world around her with home-brewed monsters. With her fiends, Vendetta maintains a clench-fisted rule over everyone at school – except for Charlotte, who unknowingly (?) thwarts Vendetta’s plans and agreeably misinterprets V’s every insult. Whether you delight in Vendetta’s unabashed evil or fall in love with Charlotte’s impossibly chipper world view, Making Fiends is the kind of series that induces a craving for the next installment.

The DVD’s playful menus mimic the web site. Along with the ten episodes and the bonus Christmas episode, you’ll find the “documentary” Making Making Fiends (in which the principals are all played by puppets), a sketchbook of concept art and doodles by Winfrey, and “commentary” for each and every episode. I was a bit disappointed in the gag nature of the commentaries (some are narrated by Charlotte and Vendetta or the like). Winfrey seems determined not to take anything seriously, but it would have been nice to hear the creator’s (real) voice and her own thoughts and feelings about the series, even if only for the three minutes’ worth of a single episode. – Chris Holland

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